Problem Size Guide for Parents
Teaching children to assess and respond appropriately to problems
A framework for helping your child develop emotional regulation
Emergency/Crisis
Immediate danger requiring emergency services or professional intervention
Common Examples:
- •Medical emergency (severe injury, allergic reaction, unconsciousness)
- •Fire, flood, or other immediate danger
- •Child is missing or in danger
- •Severe mental health crisis (suicidal thoughts, self-harm)
- •Abuse or violence occurring
Your Response:
Call 911 immediately. Ensure safety first. Document everything. Follow up with appropriate professionals.
Major Problem
Serious behavioral or safety issues requiring immediate parent intervention
Common Examples:
- •Physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting others)
- •Destruction of property
- •Running away or hiding in public places
- •Severe tantrums with safety concerns
- •Bullying behavior (as perpetrator or victim)
- •Stealing or lying about serious matters
Your Response:
Stop the behavior immediately. Remove child from situation. Implement consequences. May need professional help if recurring.
Significant Challenge
Behavioral issues requiring structured intervention and follow-up
Common Examples:
- •Repeated defiance or rule-breaking
- •Social conflicts with peers
- •Academic struggles or school refusal
- •Moderate tantrums or emotional outbursts
- •Sleep issues affecting family
- •Screen time battles
Your Response:
Address calmly but firmly. Implement consistent consequences. Create action plan. Monitor progress over time.
Common Challenge
Typical childhood issues requiring guidance and redirection
Common Examples:
- •Not following routine tasks (homework, chores)
- •Minor sibling conflicts
- •Whining or complaining
- •Mild fears or anxieties
- •Picky eating
- •Resistance to bedtime
Your Response:
Use calm redirection. Remind of expectations. Natural consequences often work. Stay consistent.
Minor Issue
Small problems that children can mostly handle with minimal guidance
Common Examples:
- •Disappointment over small things
- •Minor disagreements with friends
- •Forgetting non-essential items
- •Small messes or spills
- •Mild frustration with tasks
- •Not getting their way in minor situations
Your Response:
Encourage problem-solving. Offer minimal help. Use as teaching moment for independence.
Glitch/Non-issue
Tiny problems children should handle independently
Common Examples:
- •Dropping something
- •Minor wardrobe issues
- •Choosing between equal options
- •Waiting their turn
- •Small creative decisions
- •Age-appropriate self-care tasks
Your Response:
Let child handle it. Praise independence. Only step in if asked or if child is genuinely stuck.
Implementation Strategies
Visual Aids
Create a problem scale poster for your home. Use it to reference during discussions.
Practice When Calm
Role-play scenarios during peaceful moments. Make it fun with "what if" games.
Reward Progress
Celebrate when your child correctly identifies problem size or matches their reaction appropriately.
Be Consistent
Use the same language across caregivers. Consistency helps children internalize the concept.
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
Minimizing their feelings
Even "small" problems feel big to children. Validate emotions while teaching perspective.
Using it as punishment
This is a teaching tool, not a way to shame. Keep it positive and educational.
Expecting immediate mastery
Emotional regulation takes years to develop. Be patient and celebrate small wins.
Inconsistent application
Use the framework regularly, not just during conflicts. Practice makes permanent.